God makes Himself evident...

So I was feeding my 3 month old and it was time to burp him. As I held him over my shoulder and patted his back, he kicked and screamed like I was the most horrible mom in the world because I took his bottle from him. After he burped and I finally gave him his bottle back, he sucked it in like it was his life's breath. I looked at him in disbelief and simply said 'Sweetheart, have I ever NOT given you your bottle back? How many times do we have to go through this?' Then it dawned on me...We kick and scream through some (and if we are totally honest ALL) of life's 'burps'. It hurts and what we desire and even NEED has been taken from us and we fear that our NEED and or desire will not be met...but we need to recognize that these 'burps' are necessary to expel the 'air bubbles' in our 'tummies'. Does God look at us and simply say 'Have I ever NOT taken care of you? How many times do we have to go through this?''

FAST FORWARD 1 MONTH...

So again...an epiphany while feeding the boy. He is 4 months old now and after a particularly exhausting and trying day because he would not stop screaming, I was enjoying a snuggle while feeding him before bed...and I starting thinking. Let's start from the beginning. Noah was unhappy ALL DAY. I tried everything I could think of to console him...we rocked, we danced, we snuggled, we sang, we played, we talked, we walked, we looked outside, we went outside, we ate and we napped. All of these things seemed to work for a second or two and then onto screaming again, each time getting more dramatic and growing in intensity...I was frustrated and grieved to my very soul that my baby was not happy and there was nothing I could do to fix it. It was as if he was saying 'I am NOT happy and you need to do something about it NOW!'... Ever been there? How many times do we cry and complain to God about what is going on that in our lives we don't like. We don't know what we want or need, we are just not happy with anything...Let's go with that a minute...I started thinking about how much I loved Noah and how I would give him the world if I could. I love him so much that I desire nothing more than his happiness. BUT...I know that giving him what he wants when he wants it will not always be good for him, making him happy may not make him HOLY... He would never learn discipline or more importantly self-control. and neither would we. God loves us much more than we could ever love our children, and we can trust that He would give us the world if it were best for us. So why don't we trust that whatever situation we are in IS what is best for us? We may not understand the 'whys', but we can know that He loves us with a love we could never understand and the closest we can come is the love of our children...don't you do everything in your power to do what is best for your kids? Why don't we trust that God is doing the same for us?