Love hurts.

So I woke up this morning (3:30am) and couldn't shake this horrible feeling of dread that I was going to lose Noah. I never thought I needed to work on letting go of the things of this world, because I have never really been intensely 'attached' to anything here. Oh how this has changed...and how afraid I am that God will want to grow me in this area. Oh the understanding of God giving His only begotten Son for horrible horrible sinners. I can't even imagine the love He has for us. I can't imagine loving anyone more than Noah and God's love is so much more intense.

I am scared.
I am sad.
I am sick to my stomach.
I can't sleep.

I know that worry has never added 'a cubit to a man's stature' but I can't seem to shake it. I am taking steps to eliminate it, studying 'Trusting God' and going back to therapy...and oh prayer...prayer has become my closest friend and my comfort ever since I had Noah.

Oh Heavenly Father, I pray that Noah will grow up to be a man who loves you and who serves you with all his heart, soul and mind. Please provide me with comfort tonight as I go back and lay down to sleep. Comfort in Your sovereignty and comfort in Your love. Please keep Noah and all of us safe tonight and help us to consult You before making any decisions and trust in Your Hand in our lives. I pray these things in Jesus's precious and holy name.